Noah, yeah

[rosebaby3892]

Summer is a wonderful time to catch up on your lost time.

Whether it's readings abandoned and picked up again on a hot day, or a tinkering project always put off until tomorrow that's finally finished, for some, it's an opportunity to see the blockbusters they missed. For me, it's both an opportunity to look at the CVs of waiting readers, but also to look at the greatest works of recent months, starting with one of them: Noah. Or Noé, in the language of Molière and Patrick Sébastien.

Since yes: if you're going to adapt any bestseller to the cinema (no, I don't think I'll go special lead see 50 Shades of Grey, I think it's beyond Twilight and what a human being can bear), why not adapt the Bible? After all, it's no more stupid than adapting a Marvel: heroes galore, superpowers galore, people who die and are resurrected in the process so as not to disappoint the fans, and of course, inconsistencies as big as dinosaurs.

Anyway! It's hot, it's summer, and your computer is acting as a radiator next to your sweaty chair, so let's keep it short and get to the heart of the matter: Noah, a floating boat or a sinking turd?

Without further ado, let's spoil my good ones!


The poster. Not a single explosion! That's a sign of a quality film... wait, wait, I think the title alone is enough to announce a fecal deluge.
Our film begins… with a PowerPoint.

Yes, it's harsh. If anyone has another explanation for this sequence of slides worthy of a COGIP meeting, I'd love to hear it. So it's with a filthy, golden font interspersed with brief scenes with noise using a free sound database found on the internet (no, really, people who saw this film at the cinema must have wondered where they were) that the viewer is reminded of some important stages of the beginning of time according to the great monotheistic religions.

In the beginning, there was nothing, which was kind of a crappy thing to do on Sunday, which itself didn't exist, by the way. Then God created a whole bunch of stuff, including the Earth, the stars, and wholegrain mustard. Then Adam and Eve, after a picnic got out of hand, were banished from the Garden of Eden and sent to Earth, just so they could relax. They had three sons: Cain, Abel, and John James. Cain killed Abel during a brawl over a game of pogs (it was the beginning of time, that was a long time ago), then fled to the Far East, where he met some fallen angels, who, being nice, offered to help him found an industrial civilization.as well as the publisher White Wolf.