Self-presentation and fear of manifestation
Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2025 1:18 pm
Self-presentation isn't just about telling someone about yourself; it's about being seen, acknowledged, and accepted. For an adult, this is a challenging task, especially if you've experienced rejection, awkwardness, and failed attempts. Fear of self-disclosure, especially in professional settings, is far more common than commonly thought. Public speaking is considered one of the most common social fears, but "being your true self" is a more profound phenomenon. It affects not only the external but also the internal: self-respect, self-worth, and the sense of right to be yourself.
Why Self-Presentation Causes Stress
According to Erving Goffman, the American sociologist and author of telemarketing data frame theory, the dramaturgical theory of self-presentation, each person exists between a "front stage" and a "back stage"—what they show to the world and what they hide. Stepping onto the "front stage" is a step into vulnerability. We become visible, and therefore open to evaluation, criticism, and rejection.
Public speaking presupposes a set framework: text, role, and regulations. Self-presentation, however, requires revealing one's personality—one's unique history, values, and characteristics. This is a deeper level of candor, challenging self-esteem and evoking internal doubts: "Am I good enough?" "Am I interesting?" "What if no one wants this?"
A study by Anke Blethe and colleagues from the Institute of Psychology at Leiden University found that high social anxiety is associated with low self-esteem and intense self-scrutiny. This increases anxiety, especially when it comes to sharing information about oneself.
At such moments, even simple things—how to stand, what to say, where to put your hands—can leave you paralyzed. There's no set pattern for how to behave. If your self-esteem is unstable, or you've experienced rejection or ridicule in the past, expressing these feelings is especially frightening. It's not just anxiety before a performance, but a fear of rejection.
Melanie F. Lipton and researchers from the University of Maryland, College Park, and the University of Nebraska Medical Center confirm that fear of evaluation triggers typical stress responses. In situations of uncertainty, especially social uncertainty, ancient brain structures responsible for survival are activated. This is why the body tenses, breathing becomes labored, and the voice trembles. This isn't a "weakness of character," but a neurophysiological response. And in the case of self-presentation, the fear is heightened, because what's at stake is presenting the real you, not playing a role.
A scene from the film "The King's Speech," where the future King George VI prepares for a public speech, vividly illustrates the fear of self-expression. Stuttering, awkwardness, excruciating tension, and, most importantly, an internal protest: "I don't want to be looked at." This is not just a story about stuttering, but a drama about accepting one's role, one's voice, one's significance. Speech therapist Lionel Logue, helping the hero find his voice, works not with speech technique, but with a deep-seated feeling: "You have a right to be heard."
This is the essence of self-presentation - not in technique, but in the right to a voice, in the right to be yourself.
Self-image and self-esteem: what's inside is outside
Fear of self-expression is often rooted in a distorted self-perception—how a person views themselves based on past experiences, upbringing, and feedback from significant adults. Self-reflection exercises, where one is asked to describe one's positive and negative qualities, reveal how difficult it can be to name one's strengths. Negative traits are usually easier to recall. This suggests an inherent tendency toward self-deprecation and focusing on one's shortcomings—a mechanism formed in childhood.
It's important to understand: self-presentation isn't vanity, but an internal foundation. It's the right to say, "This is who I am," without fear of appearing "inappropriate," "excessive," or "uninteresting." Developing a stable, mature self-perception requires honest self-discovery: observation, reflection, and separating imposed attitudes from true feelings.
Erving Goffman notes that the façade of self-presentation includes not only the outer shell (clothing, speech, accessories), but also how a person holds themselves, interacts with space, and "sets the scene." Therefore, not only the external image is important, but also the internal state: physical, emotional, and energetic. Gait, voice, and reactions are interpreted as signals of confidence and self-worth.
How to start talking about yourself
Creating a self-presentation is a process. It begins not with listing accomplishments or biographical details, but with allowing oneself to be seen. Only then does one choose how to present oneself.
The concept of "figure and ground" from the field of visual positioning perfectly illustrates why not only the story itself but also the context is important. A king is made by his retinue, and a strong personality is enhanced by his surroundings, space, and background. Therefore, a well-thought-out environment (visuals, vocabulary, surroundings, references to important projects) enhances self-presentation.
Why Self-Presentation Causes Stress
According to Erving Goffman, the American sociologist and author of telemarketing data frame theory, the dramaturgical theory of self-presentation, each person exists between a "front stage" and a "back stage"—what they show to the world and what they hide. Stepping onto the "front stage" is a step into vulnerability. We become visible, and therefore open to evaluation, criticism, and rejection.
Public speaking presupposes a set framework: text, role, and regulations. Self-presentation, however, requires revealing one's personality—one's unique history, values, and characteristics. This is a deeper level of candor, challenging self-esteem and evoking internal doubts: "Am I good enough?" "Am I interesting?" "What if no one wants this?"
A study by Anke Blethe and colleagues from the Institute of Psychology at Leiden University found that high social anxiety is associated with low self-esteem and intense self-scrutiny. This increases anxiety, especially when it comes to sharing information about oneself.
At such moments, even simple things—how to stand, what to say, where to put your hands—can leave you paralyzed. There's no set pattern for how to behave. If your self-esteem is unstable, or you've experienced rejection or ridicule in the past, expressing these feelings is especially frightening. It's not just anxiety before a performance, but a fear of rejection.
Melanie F. Lipton and researchers from the University of Maryland, College Park, and the University of Nebraska Medical Center confirm that fear of evaluation triggers typical stress responses. In situations of uncertainty, especially social uncertainty, ancient brain structures responsible for survival are activated. This is why the body tenses, breathing becomes labored, and the voice trembles. This isn't a "weakness of character," but a neurophysiological response. And in the case of self-presentation, the fear is heightened, because what's at stake is presenting the real you, not playing a role.
A scene from the film "The King's Speech," where the future King George VI prepares for a public speech, vividly illustrates the fear of self-expression. Stuttering, awkwardness, excruciating tension, and, most importantly, an internal protest: "I don't want to be looked at." This is not just a story about stuttering, but a drama about accepting one's role, one's voice, one's significance. Speech therapist Lionel Logue, helping the hero find his voice, works not with speech technique, but with a deep-seated feeling: "You have a right to be heard."
This is the essence of self-presentation - not in technique, but in the right to a voice, in the right to be yourself.
Self-image and self-esteem: what's inside is outside
Fear of self-expression is often rooted in a distorted self-perception—how a person views themselves based on past experiences, upbringing, and feedback from significant adults. Self-reflection exercises, where one is asked to describe one's positive and negative qualities, reveal how difficult it can be to name one's strengths. Negative traits are usually easier to recall. This suggests an inherent tendency toward self-deprecation and focusing on one's shortcomings—a mechanism formed in childhood.
It's important to understand: self-presentation isn't vanity, but an internal foundation. It's the right to say, "This is who I am," without fear of appearing "inappropriate," "excessive," or "uninteresting." Developing a stable, mature self-perception requires honest self-discovery: observation, reflection, and separating imposed attitudes from true feelings.
Erving Goffman notes that the façade of self-presentation includes not only the outer shell (clothing, speech, accessories), but also how a person holds themselves, interacts with space, and "sets the scene." Therefore, not only the external image is important, but also the internal state: physical, emotional, and energetic. Gait, voice, and reactions are interpreted as signals of confidence and self-worth.
How to start talking about yourself
Creating a self-presentation is a process. It begins not with listing accomplishments or biographical details, but with allowing oneself to be seen. Only then does one choose how to present oneself.
The concept of "figure and ground" from the field of visual positioning perfectly illustrates why not only the story itself but also the context is important. A king is made by his retinue, and a strong personality is enhanced by his surroundings, space, and background. Therefore, a well-thought-out environment (visuals, vocabulary, surroundings, references to important projects) enhances self-presentation.