There are many ways to cope with stress (or simply “cope”), but unfortunately, not all are equally beneficial. Even if some techniques work at the moment, their consequences can create even bigger problems in the future.
Let's check how to experience stress properly and which patterns to give up.
What are coping strategies?
Coping strategies are our way of adapting to stressful situations in order to maintain emotional balance.
Each of us has our own set of habits that we reach for to cope with stress. For example, if someone has lost their job, they may start sending CVs to other companies, take a short vacation to recover, or seek emotional support and advice from loved ones. Someone else may spend all day watching TV series, pretending that their problem does not exist georgia mobile phone numbers database argue with friends, or, due to shame, not answer the phone.
These are all coping strategies, but while some actually help us overcome difficulties, others only make us more stressed.
Calm Down or Solve the Problem Right Away: What Are the Strategies for Coping with Stress?
Modern psychology distinguishes two main strategies for coping with stress:
Problem-focused coping: Changing the situation by eliminating something that is causing stress. For example, if you work in a toxic team for low pay, quitting your job can help get rid of anxiety.
Emotion-focused coping: taking care of your feelings. This is useful in situations when you don't want to or can't change the situation. For example, if you are sad about the loss of a loved one, it is important to take care of yourself in a healthy way.
How these strategies can be implemented in life – examples of both approaches
Situation 1: Imagine that one day you open your work email and see your annual performance review, which shows that your results are below average. Of course, you are concerned and worried that you might lose your job. What can you do?
Problem-solving focus: You go to your manager and suggest how you can improve your productivity. Together you develop a plan to achieve better results, and you immediately start to feel more confident. If you stick to this plan, your next review won't bring any unpleasant news.
Emotional regulation focus: You spend your lunch break reading a book to distract yourself from doomsday scenarios about getting fired. After work, you exercise and clean the house to calm down and think things through.
Situation 2: You have been invited to give a presentation to a large audience. As the event approaches, your fears grow rapidly. What's more, you hate public speaking. What can you do?
Problem-solving focus: You take a few lessons with a public speaking coach to help you learn how to write a good speech and deliver it with confidence. You practice presenting in front of loved ones so you feel prepared to go on stage.
Focus on emotion regulation: You tell yourself you can do it, you do relaxation exercises every time you start to panic.
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How do these two stress coping strategies work?
Solution to the problem
In most cases, we can solve the problem by changing the circumstances we face. What can help us overcome the stressor or reduce its impact?
Plan. Create a specific plan to combat stress. For example: I need to improve my time management to avoid burnout due to overload.
Seek external resources. If you realize you can't handle a situation on your own, don't be afraid to ask for help. For example, HR can help resolve a conflict with a colleague, or your manager can help you set priorities if you're overwhelmed.
Let your problem just be. Sometimes you really need to take a break to think things through. Unfortunately, most of the time, problems won't go away by themselves if you pretend they don't exist, but it's a way to take a deep breath before you start solving them. At the same time, it's also worth avoiding extremes, such as hyper-fixation on the problem.
Emotion regulation
With emotion-focused coping strategies, it is not the situation that changes, but our perception of it. These strategies are worth using when we have no influence on what is happening. Some examples of emotional coping strategies:
Seeking support among loved ones.
Positive reinterpretation: Reframe the situation in such a way that stressful events can be seen as useful. For example, seeing being fired as an opportunity to grow and find a better job, etc.
Radical acceptance: Becoming aware that a stressful situation has occurred and that we are getting through it without closing ourselves off or deceiving ourselves.
Seeking solace in spiritual practices or religion.
Humor and laughter therapy: Even a fake smile can increase happiness levels because the direct facial action causes the body to release endorphins.
Sometimes it’s helpful to confront your emotions head on. For example, feeling sad about the loss of a loved one can help you honor their memory. In other cases, “coping” skills can help you feel better. If you had a bad day at work, watch a comedy. And if you’re upset about something someone said, a healthy coping strategy can help you calm down before you say something you might regret.
